Clear Eyes, Full Parks, Can't Lose!

Jason’s online date: Can I tell you what gets me going?

Jason: Sure…

Jason’s online date: Pee. 

The Confession - Season 2, Episode 9

Coach Taylor: There’s Book Club tonight!

Tami: No! I don’t want to go to Book Club! Those ladies are crazy!

Let’s Get It On - Season 2, Episode 5

Ben: Why are you laughing?

Leslie: Because my dream is dead.

Win, Lose, or Draw - Season 4, Episode 22

April: Do you want me to seduce Perd Hapley?

Leslie: How would that help?

April: I don’t know, I just want to see if I could do it.

Leslie: April, I appreciate that, but I don’t think it’s something worth losing your virginity over.

Christmas Scandal - Season 2, Episode 12

Leslie: “Please remember, this is a government project. So, we need to refrain from corporate promotion and religious items. Who’d like to start?”
Man: “I think we should put in the Bible.”
Leslie: “Great.”

Time Capsule - Season 3, Episode 3

Andy: “No no no. Trust me. They have one that’s called the meat tornado. Literally killed a guy last year.”
Ron: “You had me at meat tornado.”

Jerry: “Okay, so you’re sure now that everything is okay that I’m… down there?”

…

Dr. Harris: “That man has the largest penis I’ve ever seen. I actually don’t even know if he has mumps. I forgot to look. I was distracted by the largest penis I’ve ever seen. “

I’m Leslie Knope - Season 4, Episode 1

Ron: If any of you need anything at all…too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults.

I’m Leslie Knope - Season 4, Episode 1